What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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