Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize