is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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