my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
