You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize