dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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