It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
