I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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