shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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