Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
