Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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