i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
