Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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