if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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