We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
