I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
