yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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