did you get engaged???
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize