I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
