pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
