we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
