You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
