whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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