Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
