Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize