I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
