have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
