Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
