It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
