Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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