Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
