watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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