WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
