That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
