$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
