Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
