the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
