I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
