Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
this beer tastes like vomit already
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
