I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
