ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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