I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
