ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
