I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
