Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
