So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize