when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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