Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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