They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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