You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize