I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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