I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
