i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
