It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Actions speak louder than pants.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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