Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
third nipple confirmed
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize