Barsexuality is the new black.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize