I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
