I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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