tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
