So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
