after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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